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Must-Read: How to Actually Do the FWB Thing

Friends with benefits

Friends with Benefits. Fuck Buddies. Casual Encounters. No Strings Attached. Bang Maids. There are hundreds of different terms for the activity. (Well, that last one may be a little specific to Danny DeVito.) But it all can be summarized as this: “Banging without having to date ’em.” Sex without any other ramifications of any kind. Getting the milk without having to buy the cow, if you want to use that disgusting expression. While in theory it’s the greatest thing of all time, there’s so much that can go wrong with the actual specifics of getting it to work. In fact, so many people feel that it never can actually work, that it’s almost like trying to hunt the Loch Ness Monster — you can try as long as you want, but you’re never going to make it work.

On the other hand, thinks it can. In fact, they go so far as to actually go through a checklist of how to make this happen. Here’s one of the most important steps:

Set the standard

Chances are you will meet this potential friend with benefits at a party, while you?re out with other friends, drinking, and having a good time. You can?t force this relationship; it will either happen on its own or it won?t. It isn?t something you can trick or cajole anyone into. It?s a mutual decision that?s made over the course of weeks or months. When you do start sleeping together, it will probably be on the weekends, and you?ll both know that it is what it is — and it will simply continue. The difference between a friend with benefits and a one-night stand is the magic phrase ?I don?t want a girlfriend/boyfriend,? — and smooth legs every time. As long as that is crystal clear, nothing much can go wrong.

That’s just the start. Take a gander through the list and see what you think about it. And if you have any tips or suggestions for how to make a FWB situation work, feel free to leave them in the comments below.

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About Rick Mosely Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.

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