The 3 Charisma Quick Fixes (For Men)
In this article, we are covering 3 quick fixes that instantly make you more charismatic.
But first, let’s talk about exactly what we’re fixing…
Here are the top 3 mistakes that guys make in public, and it only makes them look awkward or shy:
1. They don’t know what to do with their hands, so they stick their hands in their pockets, and keep them there.
Putting your hands in your pockets kills your state and your charisma.
So when your hands are in your pockets, you are literally appearing less trustworthy to most people around you.
A researcher from Harvard School of Business gave a Ted Talk where she talked about high power poses vs. low power poses. She stated that putting yourself in a low power pose will literally change your body’s chemistry to make you feel less confident. This is basically when you have your arms close to your body, with your hands in the pockets.
Whereas high power poses actually boost your testosterone levels, making you feel more confident and energetic.
So when a hot chick walks by, if your hands have been in your pocket for the last few minutes, rather than having the confidence to talk to her, you probably would not start talking to her. All because you were putting yourself in a low power pose.
Additionally, think about the guys who women would be more open to talking to. If a really beautiful women walks into a room, and she has the option to talk to 1 of 2 guys, she would likely be more open to the guy who is talking to people and emoting his words with his hand.
The next time you are in a social setting, simply take your hands out of your pocket, and speak to people with your hands. It really is that simple.
You will naturally start engaging in conversation with the people around you. Studies have actually shown that people who use hand gestures when speaking are perceived as more charismatic, outgoing, and fun.
And if you didn’t already know, people are attracted to sources of positivity and fun…
The next mistake that men make is…
2. Guys feel awkward when surrounded by a lot of people, so they pull out their phones and start looking at them.
When I see guys pull out their phones, they almost always have this super serious look on their face, as if they just received the most important text message in the world.
(Speaking of Instagram… Go ahead and add me right now : @TheRealPatrickJ)
Once again, having your phone in front of you, with your head looking down at it, is a low power pose. And if you are too busy looking at your phone, then you are not being very Charismatic.
The way I like to think about “Charisma” is that it is the contagious vibe that brings up the state of others around you.
If you are on your phone, nobody is being charmed by you. Nobody is feeling awesome just by being in your presence. Nobody even notices you… You are in your own world.
The fix to this mistake is stupidly simple.
All you have to do is TURN OFF YOUR PHONE when you go out in public…or at least put it on vibrate.
Here’s the thing, if you take your phone out of the equation all together, then you have no chance of being tempted to look at it when you feel awkward.
And when you don’t spend your time on the phone, you’re basically forcing yourself to start talking to people around you.
When you start talking to one person, or woman, you might feel stifled. But then you’ll talk to another person, and some of the rust will be shaken off; the words start to flow a little more naturally.
Before you know it, you’re completely warmed up, and have started talking to multiple people. You start to banter with people more naturally..
You feel awesome. You’re smiling. As you tell a story, you notice that several women are leaning in to hear every word.
And after only a few minutes, you realize “Holy crap, I’ve been the most social person in the room!”
It’s all because you decided to not be a slave to your cell phone, and get your social momentum rolling instead.
The final Charisma quick fix is…
3. Guys tend to end interactions on a low note.
Remember this: People will never remember the opening line you said to them. People won’t remember what you guys were talking about. They likely won’t even remember what you were wearing. The only thing they will remember is how they felt when they were around you, and the general vibes of the interaction.
But the strongest vibe that people remember about you is the last emotion you made them feel.
For example, a lot of guys will approach an attractive woman, and open the conversation strong.
They come go up and say an awesome opening line, and the girl is into him for a little bit. Then as the conversation goes on, the guy loses some steam, and starts running out of things to say.
That is when it happens… The awkward silence creeps up and strikes with full vengeance. And that opening line no longer matters because the guy doesn’t know what to say, and the girl feels awkward now.
This is the first low point in the conversation, and most non-charismatic guys will end the conversation right then, and awkwardly leave.
In other words, the interaction was left on a low note, and the other person was left with a sour impression.
From now on, you’re going to end every conversation on a high note.
Here is one of my favorite ways to end a conversation with a girl I just met. This will ensure that you always leave her on a high note, and wanting more…
There are a million ways to tease a girl, but one of my favorite ways is to test her and see if she remembers my name…
So if you can sense the first awkward silence coming up, say something like this:
“Hey (insert her name), by the way… What’s my name?” (said with a playful smirk on your face)
If she remembers it, give her a high-five and say “You’re awesome. I’ve actually got to go, but give me your number, and we’ll hang out some time.” (Notice how I’m not asking her to hang out, I’m telling her that we should hanging out.)
If she doesn’t remember your name, you can tease her about how mad at her you are, and you thought she was cool, but now you’re not sure.
If you say this with a smile on your face, she will know you are joking, and will also feel the playful challenge. Then you can say, “Hey I’ve actually got to go in a bit, but I’ll give you another chance. Give me you’re number, and we’ll hang out after you’ve had some time to thoroughly reflect on how you’re going to remember my name next time.”
Pro-tip: You can simply end the conversation by saying “You’re actually a lot cooler than I thought you’d be. I’ve got to go, but let’s hang out soon.” As hand her your phone.
Try this out as soon as tonight. You will thank me later, for sure.
On that note, I’m gonna make like a baby and head out of here.
P.S. Hitch is one of the most charismatic characters to come out of Hollywood. Here is a scene where he approaches a girl, and then ends the conversation on a high note. Let me know what you think:
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Patrick James Patrick James is the coach and creator of #RawDatingAdvice. A brand that influences thousands of men from over 83 different countries each day. He is the author of multiple best-selling books, including 107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl and The Magnetic Personality Formula. Patrick is most known for delivering RAW dating advice that works with pinpoint accuracy, and he is regularly asked to speak to crowds of 400+ for his input on specific and “unsolvable” dating problems. You can check out Patrick's best-selling book for FREE at www.HowToGetTheGirlNow.com