Happy Hour: How to Get Solid Dates in Less than 5 Minutes
There are only so many ways you can meet new women. Some guys prefer “night game,” going out to bars or nightclubs to approach women. Other guys enjoy “day game,” which involves meeting women in stores, coffee shops, at the mall, or even on the street. Then, of course, there’s online dating, meeting women through work or friends, and the grab-bag of blind dates or getting “set up.”
I’m not going to propose any new ways of meeting women. I’ve been at this “game” for years, and I’ve really only found “night game” and “day game” to be effective ways for meeting new women. (Not that the other ways are wrong or bad—it’s just I don’t prefer them.)
What I am proposing, however, is a new way to utilize the “traditional” ways of meeting women to ensure more successful interactions. See, I’m not just a dating advice columnist—I’m also a dating advice follower. So I—like you, reader—am always looking for ways to improve my own love and sex life. And that’s why when Jon Sinn told me about his concept of “mapping,” I got inspired.
“Think about it,” Sinn explained to me, “If you approach a girl in the gym at 8pm, you know she has nothing to do for the rest of the night. She’s probably just gonna go home and shower, then probably watch t.v. If you simply suggest doing something after the gym, your chances of getting a date are much higher.”
This is Sinn’s concept of “sexual mapping”—when you plan a seduction around what you foresee to be a woman’s near-future schedule. At first glance, this may not seem very revolutionary. Most guys do “mapping” on some level whenever they try to get a girl out on a date or meet up.
However, if you really think about it, mapping can be a game-changer. Most guys never give any conscious thought as when or where they’re approaching women. Often guys just hurl themselves at hot girls as they go about their day. Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with that; there is, however, a more efficient way to do this.
A few days ago, I was working on a magazine article in Starbucks at around 6pm. As usual, I was allowing myself to be distracted by the big fishbowl windows that look out onto the Upper East Side.
I watched as hordes of hot, young professional girls walked home from their hot, young professional jobs. But as I looked at these girls closer, I noticed all of them looked sort of sad—as if they were going home to another night of eating Chinese food and watching reality television.
I decided to test my theory. I packed up my computer and approached the first hot girl that crossed my path. “Hey!” I said to some cute Asian, “Where are you going?”
She looked at me and smiled, “Well, I was on my way to Bed Bath and Beyond. I was thinking about buying some blinds for my apartment.”
“What,” I bellowed. “You are too cute to be shopping for blinds. You should be getting a drink with me.”
The girl laughed. I could tell she was considering about it.
“Here,” I said, putting my phone in her hand. “Give me your number, and I’m going to convince you over text to change your clothes and join me for…hmm, let me guess what you drink…an Apple martini at 9.”
Without hesitation, the girl punched her number into my phone. Bingo.
About 20 minutes after I left her to scour Bed Bath and Beyond for blinds, I texted her, “Find those blinds?”
She got right back to me. After a few texts, we had plans to meet later that night for drinks. I was shocked at how little effort I had to exert to make this happen. Literally, I spent all of about 3 minutes to secure a date with a very attractive girl.
Normally, when meeting girls during night game or even traditional day game (e.g., in the morning, at Starbucks, etc.), getting these girls out is always a pain the ass. I have to remind them why they liked me, placate their anxieties about me being a creep or a psycho, and then—finally, and often most difficult—figure out an evening that works for both our schedules.
With this girl, nothing fell through the cracks. I was fresh in this girl’s memory, so I didn’t have to “convince” her of anything. Plus, since she had nothing better to do on a Monday night, my proposal for drinks probably sounded ideal.
Naturally, this girl came out and we had an excellent date. So I did the same thing the next day, and the day after. And I couldn’t believe the response: these girls were more receptive to the approach, and more receptive to meeting up later. Rather than going through the rigmarole of juggling logistics and timing, I preempted all that nonsense just by asking, “What are you doing later?”
I discovered the sweet spot for getting dates.
If you, too, want to enjoy easy dates, follow the system. Simply go out to somewhere you know women will be at around 6 or 7pm. Look for the women who are wandering around and don’t appear to be in a rush. They’re probably just killing time and would welcome a suggestion for something better.
When you approach, be direct. Tell them you think they’re attractive, and then ask them what they’re doing later. Be confident in the fact that nothing they could possibility be doing later that evening would be better than hanging out with you. Don’t “invite” them for a drink; tell them how awesome the drink is going to be.
Then, either get her number with plans to meet “in a hour or so,” or just go on the date, right then and there. Yesterday I just pulled a girl into a lounge right from the street. Remember: it’s called “happy hour” because it’s an hour where you can make some unsuspecting girl happy.
Don’t let these girls go home to mope around their apartments, wasting their night with crappy television and unhealthy food. Instead, offer them the prospect of spending it with an awesome guy and unhealthy alcoholic beverages.
If you don’t, I will. (So don’t act surprised when you find me roaming around your neighborhood at Happy Hour.)
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.