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It’s About Changing Your Mindset
If you don’t learn exactly how to do this, you’ll find that your stuck with that plain vanilla conservative sex which doesn’t really satisfy you PERMANENTLY. You’ll never be able to get your wife or girlfriend to fulfill your fantasies in bed, and you’ll have to live your life never getting to experience the sexual pleasure you fantasize about.
If you do learn these techniques on the other hand, it’ll become EASY to get your wife or girlfriend to do literally ANYTHING YOU WANT IN BED. You can make any fantasy you want a reality as easily as snapping your fingers. And, you’ll find that once she tries these behaviors, she’ll start enjoying sex more and having even more intense orgasms. This is because deep down, she really WANTS to be wild and crazy in bed. She’s just inhibited from doing it from a lifetime of social conditioning.
The Mistake That Most Guys Make
Mostly, getting her to do anything you want in bed comes down to a simple mental “shift.” Once you make this shift, you’ll find that getting her to fulfill your fantasies becomes EASY. And here’s what it is:
The intuitive thing to do as a male when we want a woman to do something for us sexually is to think “How can I GET her to have anal sex with me, or have a threesome, etc.” And while it is natural to think this way as a male, this type of thinking is totally ineffective in the bedroom. This is because women do not respond to men who are trying really hard to GET them to fulfill their fantasies.
For example, let’s suppose that she’s never swallowed your cum before and you’ve always fantasized about her doing it. If you were focused on GETTING her to swallow your cum, you might say something like “Honey, I have always fantasized about you swallowing my cum, and I know that you don’t really like it that much, but I’d like you to do it for me tonight.” And this is actually what a lot of “relationship” books TELL you to do. But I would be willing to bet my left testicle that in the real world, this would never, ever work. Not only would saying this be completely ineffective, it would actually make her want to do it LESS.
This is because we as human beings are primarily motivated by our own pleasure. Think about it: if she’s doesn’t WANT to do something and it doesn’t give her pleasure, what are the chances that she’ll want to do it for you over and over in your relationship? And another principle of psychology at work here is that we humans HATE to be pressured into doing anything. ESPECIALLY in the bedroom. If she feels pressured or obligated to do anything, it will instantly lose all it’s appeal to her.
Now “implicitly” pressuring her by asking her to do something where she knows you’ll be disappointed if you don’t do it is bad by itself. But if you EXPLICITLY pressure her, it’s pretty much guaranteed to kill all her desire to do that thing in bed. For example, if you really want to have anal sex and you tell her “I really want to have anal sex with you, so unless you do it then I don’t think our relationship has a future.” This is GUARANTEED to totally kill ANY desire she has for anal sex, and also kill your chances of ever having it with her.
The Simple Mental “Shift”
You can see from this that trying to “get” her to do something that she doesn’t want to do in bed is completely futile and actually makes her want to do the thing LESS. So here’s the mental shift that will make her want to do anything for you in bed:
Rather than thinking “how can I GET her to give ME pleasure and do what I want to do,” you want to think “How can I get her to fantasize about this and want it so badly, she can’t resist the temptation anymore?” This is critically important. This is really the only way to “get” her to do the things you want in bed, to make her DESIRE them as badly as you do, or more badly than you do.
EXAMPLE: Now, let’s suppose a guy wanted his girlfriend to have anal sex with him. If he had the “how can I GET her to give ME pleasure” mentality, he’d probably just ask her for it, or tell her that he’ll buy her a nice dinner if she does it, or some other form of pressuring her to do something she doesn’t really want to do. But a guy with the “how can I get her to FANTASIZE about this so strongly she can’t resist” mentality would probably do something like giving her sexual pleasure and getting her near an orgasm, then when she’s in a highly aroused state, vividly describing what he wants to do for her so that SHE starts fantasizing about it.
For example with anal sex, you could say “baby, your ass feels so nice, can you imagine having my cock deep inside your tight little ass? Can you imagine how good that would feel as you came over and over again as I fucked you in a whole new way?”
Now, just from looking at these two things, can you see how the second guy is going to be MUCH more effective at getting her to WANT to have anal sex? And can you also see how once she WANTS anal sex so badly she can’t resist the temptation, GETTING her to do it will be effortless? This is the big breakthrough that will really take your sex life to the next level. Rather than trying to pressure her subtly or not-so-subtly to do something she doesn’t really want to do, focus on getting her to want it more than you do.