» When She Thinks You’re a Player

by Natasha Abrahams on September 24, 2012

You’re going to have some problems if the woman you’re seeing knows that you’re a player. It may even be what attracted her to you in the first place. Women are attracted to ladies’ men, but find it difficult to be with one in the long-term. Here’s how to neatly sidestep the issues she has with your history of being a player.

Don’t admit to being a ladies’ man

Be a playa

She can see that you’re a player. She doesn’t have to ask, but she’ll ask anyway. Don’t admit to it.

This may seem counterintuitive- she will desire you more if you are a player. However, stating you are will not increase the attraction. It will just make you look like an asshole.

When she calls you out on being a player, she will probably do it in a light-hearted way. Don’t fall for the trap. Respond by laughing and giving her a vague explanation such as “No, I just like talking to people”. This will not only help avoid her having insecurities about you being a player, it will also serve to make her more attracted to you. If she thinks that you are naturally smooth with women and doesn’t realise that a lot of effort goes into your game, she will be in awe of you rather than question why you go to so much effort.

Be prepared for problems

Any relationship you have with a woman who thinks you’re a player is likely to be riddled with problems, particularly if you really are a player. You can anticipate that there will be trust issues and insecurities cropping up if you don’t deal with these issues early.

Especially if you have plenty of notches on the bedpost, don’t dwell on your past in your conversations with her. Don’t boast about your past conquests. Of course, there’s no need to hide your past either if she asks. If she’s brought it up, then it’s her own fault you tell her something she didn’t want to know. 

Give her your full attention when you’re together

As long as she feels like you’re into her, it won’t matter if you have a history of being a player- at least before things get too serious. Give her plenty of attention and have fun together, and suddenly she won’t be so worried that you’ll start running as soon as she falls for you.

You don’t need to flirt with waitresses to show how much of a player you are. This would be a rude move to any woman you’re seeing, but when you do this in front of a woman who already suspects you are a player, it’s counterproductive. She will be on guard for behaviours like this. She will feel bad about being with you if she notices you’re on the lookout for other women when you’re on a date. You want her to feel good when she’s around you, or she’ll stop coming back for more.

 

About the Author

author photo

Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

See All Posts by Natasha Abrahams



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