Are You Too Predictable to Women?
The post below is a “Pick Up Arts” newsletter I received. I agree with everything in it, as nothing kills a woman’s curiosity towards you like being predictable.
Don’t Be Predictable with Women by Jay Valens
Have you ever stepped outside yourself and looked at yourself from
the vantage point of a third person, and examined your behavior
when you are around women?
This is a great exercise to do for any skill you want to improve in
For example, I used to play chess in high school. When I couldn’t
figure out what move to make, I would sometimes stand up and look
at the board from the side. This new perspective would almost
always give me an idea for a move that I just didn’t see looking
So today I want you to visualize yourself in your last 5
interactions with women. You can ask yourself a lot of questions
about what you could do better, but for the moment I want you to
focus on a single question.
“Am I too predictable to women?”
You see, the problem I see with so many guys these days is that
they are all acting like every other guy. It is like they are all
cookie cutter copies of the next guy, and every date that a woman
has goes the same because of this.
The guy says he will call her at 7 PM Wednesday to set up the date,
and he calls at 7 PM sharp. She doesn’t want to answer because she
knew he was going to call. If he just called a day later, she
would have been asking herself for a full day “why isn’t he calling
me?” and would be psyched when he did finally call.
He says he will come by at 6 PM to pick her up Friday, and is there
at 5:55 just in case. She is turned off because he seems desperate
like the last guy she dated.
His date idea is the same as the last 5 dates she has had, dinner
and a movie.
The topics of conversation are the same as any other guy.
Questions like “How long have you lived here?” And then eventually
the deal killer “Am I your type?” (Never ask a girl this, please,
pretty please, never ever ask that!)
When she asks him to do something, he basically asks how high he
can jump for her.
The list goes on.
You see, in a general effort to please women that most men think is
the proper way to behave, the irony is that they become boring, a
sort of guilt by association with all the other men who do the
exact same thing.
Now, looking at yourself as if you were your best friend watching
you, be honest and tell yourself if you are just a bit too
predictable with women.
If the answer is yes, you need to start mixing things up a bit!
If a girl asks you to do something, tell her you will “get to it
Ask her what things make her feel truly alive, not what she does
for a “living”.
Ask her what her dreams are in life, not what she had for lunch
When she tells you her dreams, ask if she has made any progress
towards achieving them. If she says “no”, then challenge her about
If you are meeting her for coffee, get there 15 minutes late
instead of 5 minutes early.
Women want stability and predictability in a man when they are
married, and even then it gets old after awhile. What all women
really want at a deep level is a man who can give them adventure
and is in control.
And being in control means being able to act on your desires, not
on the desires that society and convention says you should act on.
So keep her off balance, don’t be predictable.
Remember, when you want predictable results – you don’t want to BE
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About Jay Valens Jay Valens & Ray Devans are the masterminds behind The Art of the Pickup plus the founders of the first & largest site dedicated to pickup, attraction & dating advice for men... Their [pickup newsletter] is top-notch & their advice caters to average guys worldwide, not just the young college or club crowd. They regularly answer subscriber questions & have one of the most amazing pickup learning tools around, The Art of the Pickup: Tactics & Techniques.