Funky Fresh In The Flesh First Dates
First dates are a key step in the process of romancing a woman. However, most guys blow it big time on first dates and curse themselves to the reviled “just friends zone” never to return. So, if you’ve got a first date coming up, or you plan to in the future, pay attention to these very important tips and keep your first dates from going sour.
I hear a lot of “experts” recommending going out for tea or coffee with girls on the first date, but this is actually one of the WORST things you could ever do the first time you hang out alone with a woman you are interested in. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a freak for a good cup of joe, and I’m cool with tea too. But think about it, what do you associate with drinking these hot beverages?
Coffee reminds me of waking up in the morning and eating toast, or being exhausted in the afternoon and needing to hit up Starbucks so I can get something to keep my eyes open. Tea makes me think of lying on the couch with a bad cold, a box of kleenex and a pack of cough drops. These are not fun or sexy things, and they have no place on a first date!
There are so many things wrong with taking a chick to a fancy dinner on the first date that I hardly know where to begin. First there’s the fact that this is what 90% of other dudes are doing, so it’s totally unoriginal.
Second, a nice sit down dinner for two with wine and entrees costs around a hundred bucks these days when you throw in the tip, which is a ridiculous amount to spend on a girl you aren’t seriously dating.
Third, it’s hard to talk and connect from the opposite side of the table when you are shoveling food into your mouth.
Fourth, eating a bunch of food doesn’t put you or the chick in the mood to get sexy. I mean seriously, after a good dinner most people just want to lie around and digest. Sure if you are on a date lasting over 4 hours, go ahead and have a bite, but keep it light!
Again, movie dates are way over done. You can barely communicate at all because it’s dark and you are supposed to be quiet, so this is an awful environment to try to connect and bond with a girl. Going to the movies and sucking face for like two hours straight was pretty damn cool freshman year of high school, but as a grown man over 15 years of age you should definitely explore some other options.
Unlike coffee or tea, a beer or cocktail is associated with fun, partying, and being an adult, and these are all good, sexy things that you want your date to associate you with. Also, booze can help you both to relax and drop your social masks, which is the definition of funky fresh.
If you are an alcoholic in recovery or just don’t care for drinking, don’t worry, drinks are not mandatory. There are other fun things you can do with your date like mini-golf, the beach, the zoo etc…
If you have made it to the first date, chances are this girl likes you, is attracted to you, and wants to give you a crack at satisfying her in bed, so don’t blow it by acting like a ‘tard! The way you act and relate to a girl you are on a first date with is an art form that goes beyond the scope of this article, but here are a few pointers:
a) Don’t interview her. Asking a bunch of stiff questions like “so, tell me about your job?” does nothing to facilitate freshness.
b) Don’t do the stuff your mom told you to. Bringing flowers, chocolates and the like makes you look like you are hard up for some lovin’. I’d also include overboard compliments, and general ass-kissery as behaviors to avoid.
c) Don’t try to sell yourself. Yammering on about your selling points (i.e. good job, money, cool friends, etc.) will make you look like a tool! Forget the DHV storytelling, and keep it simple and smooth. Like I said, if she’s already on a date with you she is already “pre-sold.” If you keep pushing it, the whole thing can blow up in your face.
d) Be sexual. That’s right, be sexual on the first date! This is what separates the dudes who get a kiss on the cheek from the guy who get a kiss on the shlong. From the moment you meet your chick, you should be locked in, giving her strong eye contact, smiling, joking around, touching her, etc. The ancient Roman poet Virgil once said “Fortune Favors the Bold”, and this remains truer than ever today!
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About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.