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Do You Want to be an Alpha Male or a Beta?

Women Can Tell The Difference…Can You?

Let?s get real for a second?

Who doesn?t want to be an alpha male?

The alpha male archetype is personified in pretty much every movie we love, and we all aspire to be like that guy?

?If not the alpha of everyone who watches badass movies?

?At least the alpha of our friend group?

As much as we?d all like to be the rock, commanding the hearts of ever woman and the envy of every man who meets us?

?There?s a lot more to it than just being big, strong, and confident?

There are a lot of beta males trying to pose as an alpha and got a lot of people thinking that being an alpha requires you to be an asshole.

Which is so far from alpha behavior that it just screams to women that guy is compensating?

Don?t get caught up in the confusion?




What is a True Alpha?

First of all, there is a lot of misconceptions as to what makes a man an alpha.

If you have to tell people you?re an alpha?

?then you?re not an alpha?

?But I?m sure we all figured that much?

The alpha male just emanates an undisputable aura of male dominance?

?The alpha male just has the juice?



The Alpha is Masculine

The fact is that you?ve gotta have a manly touch of some sort?

In one of my other articles I referred to it as ?bad-assery?.

?Bad-assery is a sort of social value that comes from skills that society classifies as ?MANLY??

Things such as combat sports, other sports, lifting weights, being able to start a fire in the woods?


?(as strange as it sounds, that is a big one)?


Being rugged, hiking, having a profession that saves people or kicks ass?

?Are all things that increase your bad-assery and exude masculinity?

?Now please don?t get this confused with being a hyper masculine brute?


What that means is just because you?re strong, an all-American wrestler, or a bad ass boxer doesn?t mean you should walk around with your chest out?

?An alpha has nothing to prove because he is the alpha?

If you are trying to compensate, affirm your manliness, or prove something then you are being a BETA MALE!


The Alpha Male is Independent

This is a big one that some guys mess up as sit applies to dating?


A lot of guys get so caught up in the desired result of a date or an interaction with a woman that they start chasing?

?They start basing their decisions off of how they think the girl to react?

?For example?

  • Trying to impress her with money, status, strength, or any number of other things.
  • Constantly agreeing with her on everything so as not to disappoint her or create friction
  • Not taking a shot out of fear of rejection

?That last one is a big one?

WHAT THE ALPHA DOES is he behaves how he wants because he is not concerned with the results?

We understands that we are the alpha and by being independent?

?We are the leader?

?and women will follow?

The alpha jumps around the bar meeting all kinds of cool people and introducing them to each other and meeting all the beautiful women so that at the end of the night?

?The women are competing for our attention and not the other way around?


That means we knows what we wants, and we goes for it?

?We create the gravity so therefore we do not gravitate?

?Marinade on that last part cuz that?s some deep shit?


The Alpha Male is Confident and Direct

This is a big one too fellas because BETA MALES FUCK THIS UP?

?A beta male will confuse gloating or compensating for confidence?

?And they confuse being an asshole for being direct?

You don?t have to talk about how great you are to exude confidence?

In reality it just exudes insecurity and women can smell it from a mile away?

We don?t talk about how great we are, we create situations and seize opportunities to show how great we are…

You don?t have to be rude to be direct?

Being rude tells women that you?re so afraid of rejection that you?re going to be try to avoid rejection by making her feel like shit first?

?In short?



Be direct with what you want when you talk to a girl and be polite about it?

If she rejects you, don?t say some smart shit like she is the one missing out?

?go mingle and be awesome and show her how much she?s missing out?

What?s understood doesn?t need to be explained.



The reason I didn?t give specifics on what the alpha male looks like, says, does, or where he gets his haircut is because?

?There is an alpha in every group and they all look different?

The alpha is not a certain height, skin color, has a specific hairstyle, plays a certain sport or any of that shit?

Which is good news for us because we?re all different and we may not be as swole as the Rock?


No matter what we look like or what we got going, we are all just as capable of establishing alpha characteristics.

Being the alpha begins in our perception of ourselves before anyone else notices.


Pro Tips

  • Watch out for the pitfalls of being a beta. If you are trying to compensate, hide your insecurities, explain your awesomeness to others then you?ve fallen into the beta male trap.


  • If you have an alpha in your friend group then don?t try to be a bigger alpha. This is what a beta male does.? The beta male always challenges the alpha and tries to out do him?and always fails.? If you have an alpha friend just watch how he does and make it your own flavor.? If you?ve got two true alphas then you guys will slay as wingmen and no one will ever feel like the other is putting them down.?

Stay thirsty my friends,


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About Van Bender Van Bender is a writer and coach specializing in becoming the alpha, the art of attraction and hacking the friendzone. Check out my website and subscribe for exclusive content

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