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When She Won’t Kiss You

By on February 5, 2008

A lot of guys seem to have the problem of not going for the kiss.  And of course that problem stems from the fear of rejection.  But ultimately the worst thing that can happen is she won’t kiss you.  And if anything by now you should know that just because a girl won’t kiss you the first time you try doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to.

Last year I had wound up hooking up with a girl I wanted for a long time.  I had tried to kiss the girl once two years prior and she sort of pushed me away and said “what are you doing?”  I was horrified at the time.  She was a friend and I felt humiliated.  Well,  two years later we wind up making out and she says “Why did it take you two years to try to kiss me again?”

Some times rejection is a temporary delay. Dan, from Badboy Lifestyle, writes about resistance before the kiss.

Resistance before the kiss by Dan

NO means no.

Society teaches us that the woman, has the right to say no and that NO means no. Spending years in this area of philosophy, talking with girls about it I realized that it is bullshit. In 80% of case no (or her turning her head away when you go for kiss means  try again few more times, and you will get it

Something that I have noticed a lot is that I would go for a kiss, and she would turn head away, I would back off, continue talking and she would still stay there. If she is staying there and smiling, but at same shes giving NO that means you will get it, but not yet.

What I usually do in this situation is I will talk for 5 to 10 minutes, and try again. But each time I go for kiss, I would do something different. I have 5 / 10 different kiss closes, and I just rotate them every few minutes. On the New DVD we are making right now, you will be able to see ALL of those moves. Maybe she will resist on 1 but next time I try to do it, I will make sure its more smooth, and it’s one of the killer kiss closes.

When she resist in most cases its one of 3 things :

  1. Kiss wasn’t prepared.
    Just going in for a kiss out of blue is not going to work. What I do, I build tension for a few minutes before I kiss her. I would look at her lips, maintain strong eye contact, and then go for the kiss. This way, you make her body and emotions ready for kiss.
  2. Kino. Not enough Kino before a kiss can be problem as well. If you dont touch her at all, and then you go for kiss, that is a BIG leap. To solve this problem, you should touch her on safe places, like arm, hair, shoulders. Just to get her comfortable with you touching her. This way the kiss will be next logical step of how your relationship should progress.
  1. Environmental issues. In lots of cases, its not you. It’s her friends in front of you, ex boyfriend thats watching her from other side of bar, or bartender that she thinks its hot. In those cases changing venue is best option to go.

I was a believer that you needed Attraction and Rapport to kiss girls. The last 2 years has changed my perspective on this. With smooth moves for Kiss close you can kiss probably 80% of girls out there. For them it just happens.Jay

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About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. You'll know more about me on . I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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9 Comments

  1. Seraf24

    February 6, 2008 at 1:21 am

    Gah…..

    this just brings back memories of my recent failure to kiss close…..

    -Seraf

  2. Thumbs

    February 6, 2008 at 1:27 am

    I like this concept, it sheds light on things a little because there are always those times when you go in and she turns and you think “what did I do wrong” but you can see her smile kinda peaking around her cheeks so then you struggle with the idea of 1) shes fucking with me or 2) she is a tease!

  3. aLpHa_kaY. A.K.A: Kevin

    February 6, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Ughh, thanks Seraf for reminding my good olde AFC days haha.
    I remember when this girl told me i had buff lips, in shock, i smoothly replied: you haven’t even tasted them yet :P.
    After a while of talking, i tried to Kiss close, she turned her head :O, i was like..Fuck, i thought i had IOIs (i was new to the game that time XD). So we kept talking, then never kept in touch for a while.
    Looking back at that now, i realized that it was probably due to the environment, her friend, was a few metres away and my friend was close by, probably watching us.

    But.. generally a good post. The kino bit IMO is vitally important..

    Pzz

  4. Brad

    February 6, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    One more thing that I’ve seen is that maybe the woman KNOWS that once she kisses you… then it’s all over and she won’t be able to stop herself.

    Like if she’s on your couch and it’s “past her bed time” :)

  5. FredEx

    February 7, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    this just totally inspired me to run that Evolution Phase Shift kiss close that style and mystery run all the time. at parties, where theres drinking involved, it’d be almost TOO EASY to run that on a girl and lead to a kiss.. wow. i cant wait for the weekend!

  6. Psycho

    February 9, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    I like the Mystery kiss close (“Do you want to kiss me?”). Overplayed, yes, but also simple and reeking of inner stability.

  7. FredEx

    February 9, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    “i didnt say you could.. it just look like you had something on your mind”
    THAT is why mystery is one of the best, if no the best.
    i wonder how long it took him to come up with that.

  8. Teddy Bear

    February 10, 2008 at 3:54 am

    Lol i use the mystery kiss close alot, it works awesome. I dont credit any with the title of the best, but he has done alot. If it wasnt for him and Style I wouldnt have found the community

  9. Seraf24

    February 27, 2008 at 1:49 am

    I actually haven’t used the kiss gambit all that much. Surprisingly, I’ve never had my chance.

    -Seraf

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