Be Her Hero, not Her Wuss

This Derek Vitalio article goes along a lot with the podcast that Michael Stoute and
myself did “on being a man.”

An Alpha Male Gets Ass by Derek Vitalio 

You know you’re pussy-whipped when you become falsely agreeable.

When a man lacks a backbone because he’s afraid of displeasing his woman, his woman eventually learns that she can take advantage of him. And then she begins to resent him for being such a wuss. And then she loses all respect for him.

But you can take control of the relationship and make both you and your woman happier.

What do I mean exactly by "take control”?

…taking control does NOT mean being macho.

…taking control does NOT mean belting or popping a woman one when she gets out of line.

…taking control does NOT mean emotionally abusing a woman.

…taking control does NOT mean putting a woman down.

…taking control does NOT mean losing your temper, screaming, or yelling.

If you do any of these things, your woman will lose all respect for you.

Instead, you have to take control without losing control over yourself.

Let’s take a look at what you need to be a woman’s hero in every relationship.

Take a Stand

First, you must stand up for yourself.

Set the rules and boundaries and stick by them.

Don’t be afraid to say "no” to a woman.

If she wants the keys to your apartment and you’re not ready to give them to her yet, don’t be afraid to say "no”.

If she wants you to drive across the city to pickup some dry-cleaning and you were planning on visiting your friends, don’t be afraid to day "no”.

If she wants to go to Japan and you want to go to Costa Rica for vacation, don’t be afraid to say "no”.

If she wants to buy a new car and you know you can’t afford it, don’t be afraid to say "no”.

Saying "no” is different than whining and complaining. Whining and complaining is saying "no” while at the same time caving into her demands. That makes you look sorry and pathetic. Always act congruently with your words.

Never do something that you know is the wrong thing to do or change your mind just to please a woman. Don’t be a pushover to her whims.

Sure, you should always listen to your woman and take into account her opinions and suggestions. But in the end, make your own best decisions and stand up for them. Remain true to yourself and your best judgment.

That doesn’t mean you need to win every time. But you do need to take your stand.

Be Decisive

Be decisive and make decisions.

Be comfortable with being in charge and in command.

If you want to go to the beach that Sunday, tell her "Let’s go to the beach… and have a barbecue! Quick, get ready.”

If she asks you which pair of shoes looks better for the evening, tell her. Have an opinion. Don’t just say to her, "I don’t know… whatever you like better.”

Women often want to just relax knowing that you have taken care of everything. Being decisive means taking the lead and surprising her.

If you are unable to be decisive and take charge, a woman will feel your weakness and take charge for you. She will start telling YOU what to do, nag you, and micromanage you.

Being in control and being decisive doesn’t mean domineering control over your woman however. It doesn’t mean micromanaging her activities, telling her what to wear all the time, or telling her who she’s allowed to see. It does not mean playing the dictator in her life.

You do not need to create a woman who is subservient. In fact, your woman should not hesitate to offer you her advice based on her education, experience, and feelings.

But being in control and being decisive DOES mean that you have direction and are comfortable taking control when the moment arises.

Don’t Always Seek her Permission

Don’t always ask for her permission or seek her approval. Don’t always try to get her clearance every time you want to do something.

If you want to get out of the house and spend some time with your buddies, do it.

If you want to change your style of clothes, do it.

If you want to take her to the beach instead of the movies, do it.

If you decide that you need a change of job career, do it.

You may want to inform her and get her opinion, but be decisive and take a stand for what you feel is best for you. You should consider her opinions in your decisions, but you don’t need her permission.

Don’t Bribe her for her Approval

Don’t give a woman free reign to your MasterCard or feel that you have to buy her expensive dinners or nice clothes to win her approval and love.

You should be receiving her approval and love as a matter of fact, without having to buy it.

You may be able to buy her attention. But you can never buy her love.

If she senses that you’re so insecure about yourself that you must constantly win her over by spending money on her, she will sense that you are weak and foolish.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t act chivalrous and act like a gentleman. You can still take her to dinner, go shopping with her, and take her on a honeymoon trip.

But don’t get carried away.

If you’re buying her something because YOU felt like rewarding her for her GOOD behavior and if you feel she would love you regardless of whether you spent the money on her, then it’s okay.

But do not shower her with gifts and presents for no reason, or max out your credit cards to meet her demands.

Reward her Good Behavior

Although a woman might exhibit spoiled, rotten behavior, at other times she’ll exhibit good behavior. Most women are a mixture of both, to a varying degree.

Instead of encouraging and rewarding her bad behavior, you want to begin encouraging and rewarding her GOOD behavior.

When she does something you like, reward it with praise and rewards.

If she comes over and hugs you, tell her "Wow baby, I love when you come over and hug me like that. It makes me feel so close to you.”

If she’s really good at giving head, tell her, "Yes… that feels so good baby. You see, that’s what I love about you.”

If she bakes you some cookies tell her, "Your cookies are so delicious,” and kiss her and throw her on the bed and fuck her.

Even if the good behavior is small, create an image for her to live up to. If she is normally cold and shows you a little bit of warmth, tell her, "That’s what I love about you, the warm person you can be.” Even though you are exaggerating a little, it gives her a positive image of herself that she perceives that you expect from her. Pretty soon, she’ll begin to act like a warm person more and more.

Always reward her with hugs, words of appreciation, and small surprises – not with money or gifts!

Then, she will begin to associate you and your positive feedback with her good behavior.

In the next report, I’ll show you have to handle and stop her bad behavior in a way that doesn’t require you to get angry, yell, argue, complain, or physically punish her.

To be continued…

Derek Vitalio

Read my review of Seduction Science 


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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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