On Demonstrating Value Part 2: It’s Not a Video Game!
So it seems like people didn’t really get what I was trying to say with the post on demonstrating value from last week.
Shocking I know.
The point I was trying to make was that the idea of “Demonstrating Value” is fundamentally wrong, because as I talked about last time, value is subjective. Also it’s kinda hard to figure out what a girl values specifically without sounding like a therapist.
So the idea of demonstrating value is off both as a term and as a part of the pick-up process. I’ll sketch out what I believe (and my research supports) actually is happening later in this post.
This gets into today’s post “game” doesn’t work like a video game. There is no sequence of things that you can say or do that will get you laid in every situation. Unlike a video game there isn’t ONLY 1 way to pass a level or achieve a goal.
There are a huge variety of variables that are not present in a video game and rely on a real person with her own feelings, thoughts and agendas.
The type of girl you’re talking to
Her current mood
Her romantic status (Is she single, looking, taken,)
Her previous thoughts about guys who look like you
Her history with guys
and on and on…
Pickup is actually much more like the game roulette. The variables are almost infinite and luck plays a much bigger part than we are willing to acknowledge. This also leads us to the Gambler’s Fallacy and how that effects the way pick-up advice is given.
The gamblers fallacy can be illustrated as follows. “Fabio” has a system for playing roulette. His “system”(bro) is to play red every time. He has lost 3 times in a row. When he loses he doubles his bet under the Gambler’s fallacy that red should come up next time since it’s been black 3 times in a row.
The reason this is false is because each roulette spin is independent of the last spin. On AVERAGE over a long enough time line or certain number of spins it will come up red or black about 50% of the time each. But that does NOT mean it’s going to be red or black 50% of any given number set, like Fabio’s 3 spins thus far.
Each time the wheel is spun the chances of red or black coming up are around 50% no matter how many times a color has come up in a row.
Hopefully you’re still following me, I know things like academic research are difficult to read when you’re used to advice like “Be A MAN!” and “Make the ho say no!” but I digress.
Each approach is like a spin of a roulette wheel, just because the last 5 girls I talked to who looked like this girl were(or not) into me, does not GUARANTEE this girl is going to be into me, because EVERY girl is different. Like each individual roulette spin.
So some women are going to respond to a guy who’s hard to get, while others will not bother. Other woman will want a guy to be really aggressive and interested in her. And so on and so forth.
So am I basically just telling you to give up and that there is no hope to systematically attract a woman?
There is one thing that all people(men included) respond to, that’s emotions.
All people make emotional decisions (Such as continuing a conversation, being alone with a guy they just met, giving out their number, going home with a guy) and then use logic (he’s a writer, he’s hot, it just happened, I felt a great connection, he’s sexy, I was drunk) to explain them.
Emotional stimulation is what happens during the “attraction” phase. In fact if you can’t get any of what I call “emotional fluidity” (the ability to influence her emotionally positive or negative) the conversation ends very quickly.
Hell even pissing a girl off is better than getting apathy (Which is often what you get with DHV stories don’t lie)
Let’s look at some of the given attraction tactics and see how they stimulate emotions:
Negs/Teasing- Causes frustration, want for validation,humor
Storytelling- Range of emotions usually positive and humorous
Cold Reads- Intrigue, curiosity,
There’s more but I want to wrap this up before I get carpal tunnel syndrome.
Because there’s an almost limitless range of emotions, the true skill of attraction comes from learning to get an EMOTIONAL response from the beginning. Sometimes this even means pissing a girl off when she’s being all apathetic and shit.
Which is also coincidentally why I was once able to pick up a girl at the W in Dallas with the opening line ” I hope a plane crashes into this patio and kills everyone.” she was in a negative emotion and I realized it (subconsciously at the time) and adapted.
And also ya know what I’ve been teaching for the 3 years I’ve been on my own.
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About john sinn Sinn is widely regarded as the second best PUA in the world. Sinn is known for his hard nosed style and take no excuses approach to teaching. He is a nondenominational teacher, which means that he subscribes to no particular method and instead blends the best of every school of seduction to create the best possible results for himself and his students. Sinn is currently running his own pick up company The Sinns Of Attraction, which offers live, phone and email training.