“Closing the Deal” with Women
I was just watching the movie Glengarry Glen Ross last night, and in probably the best scene of his life, Alec Baldwin states an eternal truth:
C-closing.Always be closing! Always be closing!!
I remember when I first saw the movie, although Alec was talking about sales, I had this nagging, unrelenting, empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Because deep inside I knew the truth.
If “Coffee was for closers”… I wouldn’t get any. It’s true.
I’d have a great conversation with a girl for HOURS. She’d be laughing, giving me all the signs, sometimes she would even come back to my place. But for some reason, I couldn’t get the “Kiss.” And the next day, I’d have to make another excuse to my friends why I couldn’t close the deal again. They were probably starting to think I was gay.
But I wasn’t. What I had was “Kiss Anxiety.”
It got to the point that I couldn’t even enjoy going on a date with a girl because the entire time I would be worried about how I was going to “make my move” later on. Later would never come.
I’d build it up so much in my mind that I’d always talk myself out of the moment. Which was a horrible mistake. Again and again I learned that if you don’t “get the kiss” then “you ain’t got shit.”
There are 4 main reasons that getting the kiss is so important:
1. The girl becomes “Invested” in you and will be much more likely to see you again.
2. Girls are awesome at rationalization. This means once you get the kiss, the girl will begin looking for all your good qualities to justify her decision to hook up with you, and you’ll appear more attractive to her.
3. If you don’t get the kiss you run an increased risk of being “friend zoned.” But most importantly…
4. Just like men, women have a natural horniness. So by hooking up with you, it is taking her closer to sex. She realizes this and imagines sex with YOU.
However, if you build up the attraction and don’t go for it, the tension and anticipation evaporates and it’s VERY HARD to get it back.
It’s easier than you think…
A few years back I learned a lesson that CHANGED MY LIFE. I mean, it literally changed my life. There is absolutely NO DAMAGE that can be done going for the kiss (assuming you sense attraction). In fact, even if a girl turns her cheek or rejects your attempt, she will still respect you a lot more. And more importantly, she will be 10X more attracted to you.
When I figured this out I became a MACHINE.
All the “kiss anxiety” I had disappeared and it turned into sort of a game for me. I no longer waited till the end of the night to kiss a girl, I would kiss them at the most random moments. And they LOVED IT.
As she was in the middle of telling me something I would kiss her mid sentence. If we talked past a secluded room, I would lead her in and quickly kiss her. I’d kiss girls in parking lots, coat rooms, gas stations. It didn’t matter when or where.
In fact, it didn’t even matter if she pulled away or stopped me. Because I just showed her I was the kind of guy who could “Make it Happen.” And that is an extreme turn on to a woman…
Much more than a guy who spends an entire night second guessing himself, weekly attempting an ‘end of the night’ kiss, or worse, ending the night with a hug or a handshake.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.