How To Get The Most Out Of A Romantic Friendship
Men are often cautioned against taking actions that would put them in the friend zone. However, there are times when it is not possible to throw up boundary walls between friendship and romance. Although you may prefer to know for certain if you are her friend or her boyfriend, it may be the case that you’ve established a bond with a girl that defies description.
You complement each other well. You flirt, talk openly, go out clubbing, touch each other affectionately, and sometimes kiss. But you have not slept together; and there is nothing about the way you touch and fondle each other that suggests you’re going to. You may feel that the entire arrangement is odd. She is a bright, energetic, physically attractive girl who you’re really fond of, and she feels the same way about you. There is chemistry, but it is not of the kind that urges the two of you to become a couple.
If you are in a situation similar to the one I’ve described, you are probably in a romantic friendship. I have had such a friendship for nearly twenty years. I first met my romantic buddy when I was nineteen and she was twenty-one. Since then, each of us has had serious relationships with other people. But no matter the fluctuations in our individual dating lives through the years, the special connection between us has remained constant.
A romantic friendship is one of the best kinds of relationships you can ever have. A romantic friend can be a source of strength when you’re going through hard times in your dating life. Going out with a hot girl after you’ve been dumped is a real morale booster. If the hot girl you go out with is someone you know and trust and don’t have to impress, your sense of confidence will recover quickly.
Your girl may also be an excellent sounding board for dating decisions. She can help you steer clear of the blunders, traps, and missteps that most of us are prone to making when dealing with the opposite sex. A woman who knows you intimately and knows, of course, how women tend to think is a great ally in the various struggles of the dating world.
A third advantage of a romantic friendship is that it gives you a constant source of affection. When you are in between girlfriends or hookups, your need to feel a woman in your arms can be overwhelming. Your girl, in addition to hanging out with you, can give you what can only be called a girlfriend experience. She is someone you can hug, hold, kiss, and caress.
How far the two of you go physically will of course depend on the exact nature of your relationship. I have never made love to my romantic friend; but there were times after we first met that we could have had sex and it would not have changed what was between us. Indeed, in the best romantic friendships there is always a slight charge of sexual tension—an erotic suspense that fills the space between you. It can lead to sex or sex acts without damaging the relationship.
If you think you’re slipping into the friend zone with a girl you really like, you may want to re-think the situation. You may be headed instead for something much more than friendship but far less than commitment. You may be in reach of a romantic friendship.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.