How To Know If You’re Misreading Her Signs- 5 Keys
The worst feeling in the world is not knowing where you stand with a woman you like.
Are you misreading her signs? Unsure if you’re in the friend zone?
The key to deciphering her actions is to ask yourself the right questions, consider how (and how often) she’s making an effort, and not to be afraid of an answer you might not like.
This article walks you through the 5 keys to interpreting the signs she is giving off.
Guys, your ego can get in the way when you consider the signs she’s giving off.
A foolproof way of making sure it doesn’t is to ask yourself this one question:
Who is the one initiating?
Are you the one putting in the all effort to get her time and attention? Or is she meeting you halfway?
Dating is a lot like tennis. It’s a good sign that she’s interested in you if the split is about 50/50- sometimes you make the effort, sometimes she reciprocates.
If you’re the one doing all the work, it’s all but guaranteed that the “signs” you are seeing are actually not what you’re hoping they are. You’re grasping for something she isn’t putting out.
Words are cheap, especially when you are trying to get a read on a girl you like.
Take a moment to observe her body language the next time you are with her.
Here are things to look for:
If you’re not sure if you are misreading her signs, meet in person and see where you stand.
Another fool-proof question to ask that will tell you how interested she is:
Is she making an actual effort when you’re around?
There are very few girls that won’t take an extra few minutes to look good for a guy they are interested in.
If she’s clearly well kept and wearing a nice outfit, you’re probably reading her signs correctly. Bonus points if you’ve made plans to do something active (hike, walk, etc.), because that means she’s prioritized looking good over being comfortable.
Sure, she might be funny and you might be feeling the chemistry. But if she’s showing up with no make up on or wearing sweat pants, you might not want to get too far ahead of yourself.
If all she talks about is herself, there’s a good chance that any signs you’re reading from her don’t hold much weight.
Girls that only talk about themselves are not actively engaged in the relationship- however new it is- and are focused on themselves. Short and long term prospects are bleak as a result.
Chances are whether she likes you or not, are girl like that isn’t the type you want to date anyway.
Other than small talk, she should be asking you questions about your life, work, and your friends. This is a sign that she’s at least slightly interested, at least enough to show you she wants to know more.
A good place to start is with this article on 10 things women say (and what they really mean).
This is the easiest way to figure out if you are misinterpreting her signs:
This doesn’t mean you text her out of the blue saying, “DO YOU LIKE ME?”. Have some tact and be subtle.
Being confident and vulnerable is something women appreciate. Don’t feel weird about asking her to be honest.
But in some cases, this situation might not call for the blind ask yet.
If for some reason this option doesn’t appeal to you, or it’s too soon, simply make a habit of being objective about how she talks and acts with you.
Separate your desires to date her from how she acts around you.
Don’t get upset if the data suggests you’re in the friend zone.
On the one hand, you’ll come off as way, way less aggressive than most guys. Being subtle suggests you are more confident.
On the other hand, you still have a chance to change how she feels. You’ve surely dated a girl that you at first weren’t sure about, and it works the same for girls. Give her more time around you, don’t quit just because it’s not there yet, and maybe she’ll decide you’re her type after all.
About Ben Kissam American coach and sports psych based in Germany. I use psychology tools to make informed decisions about dating and life.