Turn Her On By Being A Challenge
You may have heard about the importance of being a “challenge” to a woman. However, this is a concept that is often misunderstood. For a guy, being a “challenge” in a masculine way is VERY different from a woman playing “hard to get” in a feminine way. So, to clear up any confusion I wrote this article to explain the correct way to be a challenge, and to give you three tips for implementation.
First, let’s talk about why being a challenge to women is important…
There’s a basic psychological principle that states that the things a person needs to work for are always considered more valuable than the things that they get for free. Think about it, let’s say you are 17 years old and you work hard all summer to be able to afford a car. You buy it with your own money and you appreciate the hell out of it. You take good care of it, change the oil all the time, wash it etc.… Now compare that to being a spoiled 17-year-old who had everything handed to him on a silver platter. You might get the very same car for free from your dad but you don’t appreciate it at all because you thought you were going to get a brand-new Lexus SUV.
If you work for something, you reinforce the idea that the “thing” you are working for is worth it. After all, it MUST be valuable if you are putting all of this effort into getting it.
So – when you interact with women you need to create a bit of ambiguity as far as how interested you are in her.
Yes, you do need to actively express your interest in her. You can’t just act like her “Platonic friend” and think that this is being a challenge. If you completely hide the fact that you are sexually attracted to her there won’t be any sexual tension between you and you will effectively put yourself into her friend zone. The key is to express your interest with a hint of uncertainty, so she feels like it could happen, but she just can’t tell for sure. This will drive her crazy – in a good way.
Most guys either hide there attraction, or they are full on trying to get it in. Women feel no chemistry with the “hiders” and the “full on want to bang” guys are often seen as desperate, and overly aggressive. The sweet spot is in the middle.
Three tips for “priming the pump”:
This works like magic, and I’ve got a story to illustrate it…. Years ago I worked in a restaurant and one Saturday morning I had to go in to work for a meeting with the whole staff. I was running a late so when I got there, I took the last seat available which was next to a stunning blonde hostess they just hired (she was like an extra busty Elisha Cuthbert). I took a look at her, was like “damn” and then went into “strategic ignoring mode”. Basically I just looked at my boss as he droned on, fiddled with my phone and occasionally glanced up at SportCenter which was on TV at the bar. This went on for about forty five minutes, and the whole time I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew exactly what she was thinking “Why the hell isn’t he looking at me!”
You see girls that good looking are used to men staring at them and turning into “nervous eyes guy” who keeps looking over and looking away so that he doesn’t get caught. This is a dead give away that you are totally enthralled with her based just on her looks. Guys who seem unaffected by her beauty become a challenge because they are just so rare in her world. So instead I pretended like I just didn’t notice her until the meeting wound up and I glanced over and was like, “oh hey there…”, gave her a smile, and needless to say it was on.
One of the surest clues that you are ga-ga over a girl is to take her to a fancy restaurant and buy her a nice meal. After all, if you weren’t under her spell, why would you be doing things like that for her? Instead, just meet for drinks and act like it is just a casual meet up. Not only will this take the pressure off for both of you, but it completely removes the financial aspect of going on an expensive date. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve dated who have laughed about all the other ass kissing guys who take them out for lavish dinners, and in doing so completely ruin there chances. (Note: you should pay for the drinks though!)
Sometimes when you meet a girl who you think is all that it can seem like you need to have sex with her as soon as humanly possible. I mean, she is so fine that you imagine sex with her would be like the pinnacle moment of your entire life. However, to get her really hot for you it’s best to take a less aggressive approach. Again, attractive women are used to guys pushing hard for sex and they are fascinated by men who can hold back and control their desire. In turn this allows the sexual tension to build higher and higher until she is just dripping with anticipation.
Here is another article on the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2013/10/28/how-to-ignore-her-the-right-way/
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Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.