Game is Not Something You Do

It?s Who You Are

I once had a student tell me, ?It?s not game if it?s real.? I thought that was a great way to describe what I was trying to teach him that weekend.

Think he needs to pretend to have game?

I don?t change when I meet women. I?m the same guy with my friends, family, random acquaintances, and women. The way I see it, if I like her, we?ll date for the long term. So any woman I meet will eventually get to know the real Brian. She should meet the real Brian now, in case she doesn?t like him. If that?s the case, I keep it moving because I know someone else will.

Ability to Cold Approach

If approaching is hard for you, you won?t do it. It?s crucial to understand this:

If you can?t approach women, you?ll be limited in how many women you can meet. When you can meet a lot of women, you will have more options. When your options increase, your approval seeking habits diminish, which makes you more attractive, thus increasing your options even more.

In order to meet a lot of women, you must be able to approach them. With lots of approaches comes experience. You can?t get this experience if approaching is difficult. The irony is that all the difficulty comes from your own mind. It can be really easy.

Men make it difficult by trying to say the perfect thing, and worrying about what the woman thinks. Each approach requires a complete personality makeover, where you fake who you are. It?s an acting audition. Be yourself, keep it simple, get it done, gain experience, build your roster, and come to believe that your natural personality is what works the best.

Social Lifestyle

If you live a social lifestyle, you don?t need to go out to meet women. Meeting women is just something that happens as you go about your day. At the very least, you do things in your free time that involve meeting other people. I take salsa lessons, go out on the weekend, volunteer, and try to make conversation with strangers when possible.

Although I fully advocate meeting women at bars, clubs, and random places like the street, it?s also great to meet women in situations where you share a common interest. This is common sense, but most guys don?t take action, and don?t take risks. Try yoga, try pilates, try taking your laptop to a cupcake store!

Being social comes natural to everyone, once they get over the initial fear, which is also normal. Being nervous about new people in a new environment is totally normal, and so is getting comfortable after some time. I harp on this a lot. Get away from your typical social and work circles. Go to the bar alone and say hi to people. If you keep it simple, and don?t make it a performance, you?ll be fine, because other people want to meet other people too!

Who Are You?

The key to self-improvement is self-awareness. You must know where you are now, who you want to be, and how the two are different. You see, there?s you, now. And there?s the guy you want to be – the man inside, that wants to speak, but you shut him up because of your fear of rejection.

The man inside, the man you want to be, is the man you really are. It?s your mind – your fear – that stops him from expressing himself, stops you from expressing yourself. Drop your doubts and second thoughts. Gradually diminish your self-censorship. The man you want to be is the man you really are, and that is the man that women can?t resist.

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