Who Watches the Watchmen Have Sex?

There are promotional items, and then there are promotional items. In order to get folks pumped up for the upcoming Watchmen comic-to-movie translation as if fanboys could get any more pumped upthe ad wizards over at WB marketing are bringing publicity to the last place left unfettered by advertising: The vaginal canal!

That's right, folks. Watchmen condoms! Blue, so that your penis can look just like Dr. Manhattan's! Unfortunately, the people at WB may have picked the wrong superhero to pattern their genital covers after. See, according to the below comic panel, Dr. Manhattan wasn't exactly visiting the Magnum section of the condom aisle:

According to this interview with Watchmen artist Dave Gibbons, Dr. Manhattan was given a smaller piece on purpose. I was careful to give him understated genitals, like a piece of classical sculpture, too. Which makes sense and all from an artistic perspective and all, however unfortunate it is to Billy Crudup, who's playing the character in the film. Perhaps the WB marketers would have been best to leave the condom advertising to the pros. Namely, Condoman!