How To Prepare For A Break-Up
A break-up with a long-term partner can have a significant impact on your future, especially if you’re sharing a home, belongings or financial commitments.
That’s why it makes sense to make a few preparations before you drop this bombshell.
When you do so, it becomes easier to make a clean break and this can help ease the pain of splitting from a lover.
The guide below suggests some useful steps to prepare for a break-up.
Even when it’s you deciding to end the relationship, it’s still not easy.
Most people are terrible at dealing with conflict, and there aren’t many bigger conflicts than telling a romantic partner you don’t want them anymore.
To deal with this smoothly, you first need to be absolutely sure in your mind that this is what you want. Write down a list of reasons if you think that will help. When you’re convinced that breaking up is the right thing to do, it becomes easier to bear.
You may want to write down a list of things you want to say to your partner as well. If it’s someone you really care about (or at least used to), they deserve a decent explanation about why you’re ending the relationship.
Finally, it’s useful to have an exit plan prepared for the immediate aftermath of the break-up. If you live together, who is going to leave and where are they going to go? If you have shared belongings, how are they going to be split?
When you know these details beforehand, the break-up conversation itself becomes less intimidating.
It’s normal to feel a bit down after a break-up, even if the relationship was a complete train-wreck. At some point, you really cared about her, so it’s natural to be sad about splitting up.
A lot of guys bottle up these emotions, play the role of the heartless player and pretend that they’re absolutely fine. Yet, when you do this, these sad emotions tend to remain inside you for longer. What you resist, persists.
It’s better to spend as long as you need to embrace the sadness, even if it’s a few days. When you properly mourn the loss of a loved one, it becomes easier to move on in the long run.
In the aftermath of a break-up, it’s often a great idea to spend some time treating yourself to the things you love most. Remind yourself how to be happy as a single man. This will do so much to make you more attractive to the other single women out there.
Perhaps you’ll spend more time on your favorite hobby – or take up a new one you always wanted to try. Maybe you’ll make time to catch up with friends who have gone off the radar.
One of the plus-sides of becoming single is the extra time you have on your hands. For sure, if you’re fretting over your break-up, it can help to plan how you’re going to spend this time.
It might feel easier to break up with someone when you have another woman waiting to welcome you with open arms.
However, it’s widely agreed that this is cowardly, disrespectful and unfair on your partner.
Don’t take longer than you need to initiate the break-up – and please wait until you’ve ended it before you start messaging girls on Tinder.
A break-up can be especially complicated when you share a home. Maybe you share rent and bills too. Perhaps you bought the sofa together.
Here are some tips for organising a break-up when you live together.
If you have joint bank accounts, credit cards or any type of joint debt, you’ll need to either close these accounts or convert them into a single-person account. In most cases, the account’s provider will ask for both parties’ permission to do this, so this is a process you’ll need to begin after the split.
If your partner refuses to cooperate, let the account provider know. There may be something they can do to help. At the very least, this will protect you against any reckless spending rampages your ex may decide to go on.
Bear in mind, that you’ll be financially ‘linked’ to your ex until this process is completed. So, if they have a bad credit score, it’ll affect your chances of being approved for credit.
A financial break-up is horrifically complicated when you’re married. In this case, it really is best to seek advice from your lawyer. The same goes for custody of your children, if you have any.
It can be incredibly stressful to break up with a significant other, but these tough times won’t last forever.
Remember, this split will ultimately give you the opportunity to seek a better relationship – or a happier life as a singleton.
Our guide on the best places to meet single women will help to ease you back into the dating market.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>